Thursday, April 28, 2011

You don't get to be frustrated with my frustration

The next person who tells me I can improve my love life by "being more social" is going to find their phone number written on the bathroom wall of every public building I visit. As I explained to a good friend tonight (who I totally realize only has my best interests at heart), that is pretty much the equivalent of telling me: "have brown hair." Done. Accomplished. One might say that it's even in my genetic make up.

Having the coupled-up people in my life feel badly for my lack of a relationship doesn't actually make me feel any better. In fact, as someone who tries very hard to make sure everyone around her is happy, knowing that my relationship status is making others feel bad makes me feel terrible. And it is pretty much the only time I feel badly about my lot in love.

There are two things that scare me about how long I've been single. One: if things haven't changed in SO long, it seems less and less likely as time goes by that change will occur. Scarier, though, is two: I don't feel any gaping hole. It doesn't feel like a part of me is missing (until it is pointed out to me that I am missing something). I'm used to living by myself and for myself, used to doing what I want when I want to do it, used to only having one set of familial obligations. For some reason, feeling like I don't need anyone else to "complete" me - which should really be another reason why I am an awesome woman to date - but wanting it anyway is so hypocritical that I can't even process it correctly.

See, here's the thing: except for this whole "sharing my life with someone" malarky, things are pretty good for ol' Princess R-in-the-P. Good job, good health, decent salary, amazing friends, fun city, superb family. Those are not things to be taken for granted. Am I supposed to leave half of that list behind because DC obviously isn't a city made for single young women on the prowl? No, I?

While I avoid mulling that life-changing question over, please - don't bring it up too often. I promise, if there is news in the dating category of my life, you won't have to ask me to hear about it. I'll shout it from the rooftops and plaster it all over town - right next to your phone number in the bathroom stall.

1 comment:

Ron Reich Esq said...

Whoa! That is very deep. I do like the way you think, however. Keep up the good work and live your life to the fullest.