Tuesday, June 16, 2009

You're Boring Alex Trebek.

You might be thinking that I forgot a comma in the title of this post, but no - everyone knows Alex Trebek is a ho-hum individual. There's no use in blogging about something that obvious, it's like writing a post about the crazy way that the sky is blue. Even when something potentially awesome happens to that guy, it's still boring. From Wikipedia:
On Friday, January 30, 2004, Trebek escaped major injury after falling asleep behind the wheel of his pickup truck while driving alone on a rural road in the Central Coast town of Templeton, California, returning from a family home in Lake Nacimiento. The truck sideswiped a string of mailboxes, flew 45 feet over an embankment, and came to rest against a utility pole in a ditch. Trebek was not cited for the accident and returned to work taping Jeopardy! the following Tuesday.
What I mean to say is that YOU are boring Alex Trebek, and by YOU I mean WE. Or perhaps more specifically, everyone that has been a contestant on the show in recent years. God, he is so sick and tired of you! Do you see how excited he gets when the Jeopardy categories are themed? In honor of Conan's first night in Leno's Tonight Show spot, the Double Jeopardy subjects were:

Do you get it? "In the Year 2000"? "Triumph"? "Richter"? Well...at least he's trying. The contestants didn't even bat an eyelash, they're so focused on the questions that they can't even get a joke (poor though it may be). Trebek's been doing this job a little bit longer than I've been alive. Sure he's Canadian and that automatically makes him 6 times more patient than a red-blooded American, but every one has their tipping point. Do you want to know what really gets his goat?

The Daily Double.

I'll bet he has nightmares of mousy contestants twanging, "Oh...I'll just wager $200, Alex." Really? The question was worth $1600! Where's your sense of adventure? If you showed a lil gumption, it'd make this a real game, not the farce poor Alex has to preside over all the live-long day. This man hungers for a true Daily Double the way a cigarette smoker longs for their next nicotine fix. Watching him goad the contestants to wager their entire earnings is so pathetic...but I guess that's what happens when you have the answers on a card in front of you. You've got to find some way to get your jollies.

Last week, someone caved under the pressure Alex has been asserting for months - if not years - and went for the true Daily Double. 30 seconds later, he's down to $0 in the second round with hardly any time to catch up. And even though it was painful to watch, I was so proud of this guy for biting the bullet and taking one for the Jeopardy contestants of the future. Hopefully, this will hold our dear Canadian game show host over for awhile.