Here's the (final?) update on my idiotic turn last week. The day after I was pressured into putting a $294 down payment on an 18month contract with $92 monthly payments, I called the company back to cancel. The naive-sounding receptionist told me that my "agent" would have to call me back with some information to cancel the account. Super duper. Surprisingly, he called a few hours later and asked why I was cancelling. "Because I hate my car," I said (which is largely true). He laughs - dunno what's so funny in all this - and says he needs a reason to write down.
"Like, is it too expensive?"
"Sure, you can write down that it was too
expensive if you'd like."
Even though Anthony called me back knowing I wanted to cancel my account, he hadn't taken the effort to find the mysterious address I needed in order to cancel. Was I driving to an undisclosed location? It remained to be seen. So now he was going to have to call me back with the right information. This time, I didn't get a call.
While I waited, I called Capital One to contest the charge that had shown up on my transaction history online. They were great. Basically, since I had already contacted the company to try to cancel my account, they were able to put an immediate freeze on the transaction and created my account for the down payment. They were sending me a form to fill out and, as long as I sent it back in three weeks, they'd be able to process the complaint. Thank you, Capital One!
The next day, I called my dear, fraudulent friends at American Warranty Services to say, "WTF, mate?" The same, lost-in-the-wilderness receptionist took my call. I reported that I hadn't received the address I needed and she immediately provided it. Almost as if she had it on hand! Imagine! (Note: the address is the company's address. Seriously, Anthony, you had to call me back with that information? Don't you know where you supposedly drive to work each day?) I told her I was trying to cancel and asked to speak to a manager. Now I'm on the phone with the company GM who immediately goes into the hard sell. In the immortal words of George W. "Dubya" Bush: "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me...tw...well, you can't fool me again." Feeling angry and fueled by the sweet gasoline of justice, I said, "Stop. I don't want you to try and change my mind. I just. Want. To cancel. My account." Now he needed to write down a reason. I told him he could write whatever he wanted to say, I didn't care.
"Well, did you feel like you were being sca--"
"Yes. Yes I felt like I was being scammed."
The GM informs me that only the agent I worked with can cancel my account. Like I give two craps who cancels my account. And now I have to wait for Anthony to call me. When he does, he offers up the address like I should be proud of him for finding it. Great, Agent Anthony - what do I do with the address? Oh. I have to wait for the policy to come in the mail and then send it back with a letter explaining why I want to cancel and my current mileage. My current mileage? Why? ::stumble stumble grasp at straws:: Whatever, I'll give them the info because there is no WAY they are going to keep my account going b/c I didn't give them all the information they asked for.
If I was ever on the fence about whether or not American Warranty Services was a scam, a fraudulent company, a pox on the American public, this "cancellation policy" really sealed the deal. In this glorious age of computers and technology, you don't have my policy in some sort of database with a cancel option? I have to wait 9 days for the policy to come my way and then send it back? Sounds to me like you're trying to drag out the process so you have time for at least one monthly payment.
So, I've filled out my complaint with Capital One, and I've written an extremely scathing and accusatory email to American Warranty Services demanding the immediate cancellation of my policy. Hopefully, that'll be the last of this chapter in the saga of my gullibility.